My name is Janet Williams and I love to read the bible. I can’t get enough of it. But, it wasn’t always that way. When I first accepted Jesus as my Savior at the age of 17, I found the bible to be very confusing. It didn’t fit into any framework of thinking or real life that I saw. Even so, I just kept reading.
At one time, in the 1990’s, I almost gave up on God. My life was taking a series of twists and turns that I couldn’t overcome or escape. I felt as if following God was pointless. I was aimless and directionless until I decided that I had to choose. I decided that running up the hills of life was a state of being that I was in no matter if I followed God or if I didn’t. I came to the conclusion that there would be far more of a hope of a better tomorrow if I continued to follow God than if I tried life on my own terms.
I forced myself to go back to church. I just decided to pick a church and attend. If that church turned out to be a bad fit for me, I’d pick another one and attend it until I found one that I felt I could stick with for the long haul.
I tried several but still felt an unrest at attending. That is until I went to a church where the first Sunday in attendance the Pastor was showing a portion of the film, The Passion. He showed the part where Jesus was beaten and went to the cross. It was horrifying to watch and truthfully I never saw that film in the theaters for that reason. But, I stuck it out and after it was over and I went home. I had the sense that God had shown that film just for me. It was a wake-up call.
I realized that what I was doing was making it all about me. It was all about how I felt and how unfair life seemed to be. I looked at the lives of others and felt left out of the parade of life. I felt life was passing me by and I was struggling to get life right in fear that I’d never get it right. But, that movie scene changed my perspective. Through that scene I began to see that life in Christ isn’t about me, It’s about Jesus. It’s about His death on the cross. It’s about giving up my life and my expectations of this life to attain the salvation of my soul. It’s about the life that is ahead for me in eternity. It is about my not demanding my rights in this life but sacrificing them in order to gain a better inheritance in heaven.
So, I began to study the bible with a new zeal. I wanted to understand the foundations of my faith, rely on what God says in His word and root out every promise of God’s loving provision. I stopped with the “it’s-all-about-me” attitude and began anew in my walk in Christ.
God has a plan and a purpose for me. It may not be what I wanted or what I thought would bring me the most happiness, family or contentment but now I live to hear those first words when I reach heaven, “Well done My good and faithful servant.”